Grooming Expert Gifts

The Organic

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

Facial hair continental drift.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Lesser known greek gods,

Bathing the dog

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Too much concealer?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dogs shaving

"Absolutely not!"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'