Grocery Geek Gifts

"I'll go tomorrow when they've had time to re-stock after the mad scramble for bread and cheese."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Disease Management

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I come here for the pepper."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Unusual Offers

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'I've got it written down...'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

Self-Checkout.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Low Hanging Fruit

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'