Gastronomy Geek Gifts

"We need a DNA sample to ensure your meal is compatible with our microbiome."

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'He's very fussy about his food.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Egg in refrigerator notices Mom is now a roast chicken

Food, glorious food!

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Sandwich snob.

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Mind if I join you? I told your wife that if she didn't like the way I cook, she could have a run at it herself.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Diningsaur.

'We've found it to be the most effective way to let people know what food goes best with our wine.'

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

"Why don't I start you folks off with our exciting Fall Food catalogue."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

View to the Future

Try to guess the continent dining...

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"