Grinning Graduate Gifts

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

Teacher and students.

T-Rex as a graduation speaker. Everything was going well until someone in the first row moved!"

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

"Clever girl."

'Do you have one called Job?'

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"Put 'er there!"

A credit to his species...

"Wow! Your dog really is smarter than an honor roll student!"

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'