Quirky Graduate Gifts

'I was wrong. I didn't think Gibson would make much use of his diploma.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Subatomic particles

Day one, post grad

Teacher and students.

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

Essay Paper.

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

Graduating Zumba Cum Laude

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

Graduate

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

Graduation Day At A Party School

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

The institute.

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'Uh Dude, you're supposed to throw it straight up.'

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Cards for All Occasions. Wedding. Get Well. Grads. Congrats. Friendship. Birthday. One "graduation" and one "condolences" … He's afraid of the real world.

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

'Do you have one called Job?'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods