Optimistic Graduate Gifts

'Do we flip a coin to see which one gets the job?'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

Good Luck with your finals.

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

Teacher and students.

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

Graduate

You are more than your job description.

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

Graduate Job Openings

Job Hunting.

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

Higher education.

"Wow! Your dog really is smarter than an honor roll student!"

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'

Grabbed By Gorilla

A teacher in mortar board and gown

'This is called waiting by the phone for months.'

Graduate

'That won't get you the job, you might however be able to make a fiver from the frame'

Big Student Loan Debt And Nobody Will Hire Me Because I'm Overqualified.

'Congratulations! This year we're saving money by letting all our graduates download their diplomas from our website.'

"I'm down to my original hat size."

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."