Grind Philosophers Gifts

"I really didn't enjoy working five days a week, fifty weeks a year for forty years, but I needed the money."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Commutobile

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Monday: Next 7 exits.

I hate monday mornings.

Getting through the week.

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

"The Talmudic umpire It may have been a strike, since it cut the corner of the plate, and yet it was a trifle high, but not really that high, and yet it seemed to curve over the plate..."

"If everyone is gonna get a universal basic income, what is the point of getting good grades?"

Evolution explained.

"At first it bothered me, but then I realized, 50 growth rings is the new 40 growth rings."

"There's an uncertain feeling in the air..."

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

'Embrace nonviolence!', 'I don't see how THAT'S going to help.'

Janus.

"Remind me, what's the difference between a metaphor and a simile?"

Rene Descartes