Daily Grind Philosopher Gifts

Evolution explained.

'The tough part of making a living is that you have to do it all over again tomorrow!'

"Go ahead, shoot me! It'll take the guesswork out of my day."

The seven dwarfs of Syosset

"Next up is Alex's dad who's going to tell us all about the job that he has and feels desperately trapped in."

'Just missed a bus? My heart goes out to you.'

Daily Commute.

"There's nothing more obsolete than yesterday's newspapers, or whatever it was the boss was prioritising 15 minutes ago."

"No, I don't think you can get leg traveling from your home office to the kitchen."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Commutobile

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Monday: Next 7 exits.

I hate monday mornings.

'Would you like a push Dear?'

9-5, 5-9

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

'My therapist defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

A usual day.

"I've figured out why my life is boring."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

'Kate was running late for work and to make matters worse she put a ladder in her stockings'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Is this a good time to bring up a car problem?"

"Don't get caught."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

The Twelve Labors of Hercules of Elmhurst

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."