Grief Supporter Gifts

Grief Counselor - Offering closure. Closed

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Grief counselling'

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

Hedgehog Mortuary.

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

'Touching.'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

Counsellor for man on desert island

Former Survivalist

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'