Grief Support Giver Gifts

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Grief counselling'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

"I'd feel like a hypocrite contributing to his farewell gift after firing him."

'Touching.'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

Former Survivalist

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

The stages of winter

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

Audrey M. Fishberg - Certified Financial Grief Counselor.

Before I give you the judge's decision on your appeal, I don't believe you've met our grief councilor.

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"You're not even listening, are you?!"