Grief Healer Gifts

"The best thing is, I've come to terms with Roberto's death. I don't think he'd want me to not move on with my life. But sometimes, moving on means staying where you are...with the people you love."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Grief counselling'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

'Touching.'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

Former Survivalist

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

The stages of winter

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

Before I give you the judge's decision on your appeal, I don't believe you've met our grief councilor.

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"You're not even listening, are you?!"

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

"I knew if I started dating again so soon he'd flip out."