Grief Traveler Gifts

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Grief counselling'

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

"Oh no! You, again?"

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"Excuse me for a moment. It's my idiot husband."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

'Touching.'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

Desert Island Business

Former Survivalist

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

Farewell to the travellers

"Honey, I already have the chills! Where did you find such a great rental?" "On Scare B&B."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

'And I'm sure Brian would have appreciated his facebook friends turning up today.'

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

"You're not even listening, are you?!"

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, freedom, is rooted in one's capacity to love.'

'... and now for a good night's sleep in the great outdoors..'

'I just couldn't bear to be without Floyd. So I had him stuffed!'

The three stooges of grief.