Grief Counselor Fan Gifts

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

Early career fair

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

'Touching.'

'I'm you from thirty years in the future. I've come back to tell you not to do it!'

"I feel we've had a good session today."

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

You do everything in dribs and drabs, Al. That's a valid criticism, Dr. Kapuchnik. From now on I promise to just do things in dribs. No drabs.

Husband apologising for losing his temper.

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

"I knew if I started dating again so soon he'd flip out."

Before I give you the judge's decision on your appeal, I don't believe you've met our grief councilor.

Wife t-shirt; RE, hubby in bar: PENT: 'Oh-oh! My better half1:

'This chart shows every day you've been a good husband.'