Grid Guru Gifts

TV screen: 'It's 10pm - do you know how the US power grid is holding up?'

"Here's your problem."

Here Lies P_T_R W_I_L__S: Inventor of the Crossword Puzzle

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

If nobody had invented graphics

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"#Win!"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'Oh Hi!'

'I could do that.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

ACME Balloon Company.

The Rise of Modern Art

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

Lawnmower

Let's Celebrate

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."