Grass Guru Gifts

I want to be a lawn!

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

Greener grass.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If he can't get Yard of the Month, he'd rather just burn it."

Compass needed to navigate lawn mower in long grass.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'The neighbours are complaining about you aerating the lawn again,'

'You have to mow it.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Hey Pete...tell me...as a neighbor. Do I have bad grass?'

"Yes, the grass is greener on the other side, but significantly sparser too, so it's a toss-up really...."

"Don't worry. . . they will find us. . . we're still in the backyard. . . I just didn't cut the grass. . ."

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Gardener laying turf.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'We're slowly disappearing, Marty. Shouldn't we do something?'

Lawnmower

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Grade 'A' Grass.

"Hey! I'm Aerating Here!"

'I'm seriously thinking about replacing this artificial turf with real grass.'

'Your problem is that you're a WORKAHOLIC.. do you do LAWNCARE?'

Fifty years of deprivation for the colonists...

When Cows Discovered Mowers

I think we need to come to terms with the fact that our God is a cr**py God!

Rotary Mower

-Please lend me your lawnmower -As long as he's back by four. He's our dinner.

'Go get the groundskeeper! The crabgrass is back!'

My dad loves his lawn.

Hey! I've found a long one!!

'Excuse me, have you got the time?' 'No'