Garden Guru Gifts

"Looks promising. I just hope you aren't leading us down the garden path again."

"Boy, they really let their yard go."

'This is supposed to be a deluxe garden bed. I assume that means it'll include 1,000 thread count sheets.'

'I can't believe people pay for that...'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

Convenience food: '...these days you can get your vegetables this way.'

man watering giant flower

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

"You forgot to record what you planted, didn't you?"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"I've invested in property..."

'My wife and I will both be eating your garden this summer. We've become a two-career couple.'

'I'll say he's busy. He has hundreds of frequent flower miles!'

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'

'I think we have a possible case of death by overdose.'

'If they are called 'leaves', why do we have to rake them up? Why don't they just leave?'

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

"We really need to hire a landscaper."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Flower seed and Bird seed

Housewife with industrial weed killer.

Mayfly Wisdom: Never put off til tomorrow...

"I'm in herbs—celebrating the ancient link between women and plants."

'I'm not one to complain George, but your wind chimes are driving me and Trisha up the wall.'

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'Wow, check out the blooms on that cutie. I bet she's GM.'

They always go for the hoe.

'I bought this from you in August. I've only had it for three months and all the leaves have fallen off!'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

'I know botanists are important dear, but I wish I could tell people you had a proper job!'

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

"I've downsized..."