Garden Guru T-Shirts

"Looks promising. I just hope you aren't leading us down the garden path again."

'This is supposed to be a deluxe garden bed. I assume that means it'll include 1,000 thread count sheets.'

"Boy, they really let their yard go."

'I can't believe people pay for that...'

Convenience food: '...these days you can get your vegetables this way.'

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

man watering giant flower

"You forgot to record what you planted, didn't you?"

'I'll say he's busy. He has hundreds of frequent flower miles!'

'If they are called 'leaves', why do we have to rake them up? Why don't they just leave?'

"I've invested in property..."

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I think we have a possible case of death by overdose.'

'My wife and I will both be eating your garden this summer. We've become a two-career couple.'

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'

"We really need to hire a landscaper."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Flower seed and Bird seed

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

Housewife with industrial weed killer.

I can't believe it's not cow manure.

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

Mayfly Wisdom: Never put off til tomorrow...

"I'm in herbs—celebrating the ancient link between women and plants."

'I'm not one to complain George, but your wind chimes are driving me and Trisha up the wall.'

"I would love to get my hands on the official who sent him home on gardening leave!"

'Wow, check out the blooms on that cutie. I bet she's GM.'

Alan Titchmarsh

'I bought this from you in August. I've only had it for three months and all the leaves have fallen off!'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"I've downsized..."