Guru Gardener T-Shirts

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Allotment

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Oh Hi!'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Dog in Daisys

Wordplay: Gastropod.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

Bumble Bee

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Do you have anything bigger?

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Gardening#2

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Gardening Terms: Black Spot

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes