Greens Guru T-Shirts

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Where do you think this 'oversize' thing will end?'

Fred walks into a salad bar on the wrong side of the tracks.

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"Don't worry about all that spinach. After mom cooks it, there's only this much left."

"Have you been eating your greens?"

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

'This next shot's about 450 years. You're gonna wanna watch out for that huge dogleg on the right.'

'Please tell me this isn't our bag.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Golf - Putting green.

'I haven't played here for eight months.' - 'You won't recognize the course now it's almost healed up.'

'I don't like bacon bits on my salad...'

'My compliments to the gardener.'

The Environmentalist

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Allotment

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Dog in Daisys

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'Oh Hi!'

Wordplay: Gastropod.