Greens Humorist Gifts

'I dreamed last night that somebody came up with broccoli by-products.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

Crazy paving company.

"You have a good lie."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

The natural selection process in golf.

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

'Look what my son gave me!'