Greens Humorist Gifts

'I dreamed last night that somebody came up with broccoli by-products.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

"You have a good lie."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

The natural selection process in golf.

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

'Look what my son gave me!'

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.