Green Comedian Gifts

"This material is 80% recycled."

"The hugging’s OK. The humping... not so much."

Recycling banks read Paper, Rock, Scissors.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"You have a good lie."

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

igloo smoking zone...

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"How much energy did you use to create me? I wasn't awakened with nuclear power, was I?..."

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

'It's not you...it's your carbon footprint!'

'Gene Pool'

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!