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Plant Lady

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Internet Cafe.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Robert Schumann

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

Don't You Dare Stand in the Way of Me Standing in My Own Way

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'I think Fred's taken the idea of having a conservatory a little too far!'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Nick Cave.

'I need a green house built ASAP.'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

ABBA

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

Arctic Hothouse

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"You're dragging the beat."

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

Cinema nasties

Venus Fly Trap

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

"I'd like a table near the band please."

Eric Clapton

"I have two children by a previous tour."

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

Organic fruit.

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."