Green Grape Guru Gifts

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

Allotment

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Oh Hi!'

Dog in Daisys

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

Do you have anything bigger?

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Gardening#2

Giant slug attacks a city