Green Gimmick Skeptic Gifts

'So, 21st century companies got together to save the earth, and planted green logos everywhere.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"A two hundred thousand foot extension cord? You're still not grasping this hybrid car idea, are you, Mr. Higgins?"

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

Journalist in charge of gardening column has dead plant.

Carbon capture and storage

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'This is the first hydrochloric factory to run on wind power'

Turn on the AC

'America uses 20 million barrels of oil a day. Our profits are up, but is it sustainable? Will consumers run out of money?'

Jesse Helms - US Senator.

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

Texas - Home of Organic Free-Range Gas!

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

Man wearing 'Save the planet t shirt' uses non-environmentally friendly carrier bags,

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

"Of course it has an environmental certificate!"

America needs smaller cars.

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

Carbon Credits

Armstrong, I was wondering something. Go on. Our electricity keeps going out. You said the rolling blackouts are caused by overuse of air conditioning to deal with the heat. But summer is long over. The heat waves are gone. Might somebody be using global warming as an excuse to keep the power off and save money? I was framed.

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"

'I carbon off-set by donating to the Conservative party.'

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

'Runs completely on electricity - generated by a tiny coal-burning power plant.'