Greedologist T-Shirts

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Secretive Weigh In.

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'What's holding him up?'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

Greed.

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Happy hour.

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

'Economic Growth' Elephant balancing on top of the world in a circus ring. Accompanied by a 'fat cat' ring master.

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I have a photographic memory but the images are really low resolution.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

We Sell Chinese Stocks - Management is not responsible of you feel greedy again in an hour.

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Aging population in Cuba

Mayfly Retirement Home: 'It's a real worry, so many of us living well into our 25 hour. . .'

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'