Great Dane Giggles Gifts

'You Know Who got into my closet.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

A baby playing on a grand piano

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Good, but not Great Danes.

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

At the baby oil factory.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

'Don't even think about it. Your food bill is high enough.'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

'Do you think I over-praised Marmaduke for fetching the paper?'

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

'He's not happy with the portions in the doggie bag.'

'Marmaduke scared some pigeons in that tree.'

'It says here on your application that you were fired from your receptionist position for refusing to answer phones...well, thanks for applying! Bye now!'

'You can wait.'

'Who wants to be the first to show and tell?'

A real turkey lunch.

'Your credit card is no good here, Marmaduke. We're strictly cash.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'Why, sure I remember you. Marmaduke and uhh. . .uhhh. . .'

'Don't worry. I won't leave without you.'

'Back so soon?'

"How can you look into those eyes and make her sleep outside?"