Grandpa Giggler Gifts

The old geezer was feeling a bit de-flated!

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'Whoops!'

Young MacDonald

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

"It was your idea to call him Christopher Robin!"

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

"He was a whistle blower but I was the only one who could hear it."

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

Makes me feel young again!

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

"Who ate all the pieties?"

'The fire brigade are on the way. But in the meantime, I'm totally posting this online.'

"Where's the Viagra?!" "Where's the fire escape?!"

A Cow Funeral.

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'I think the idea of an online dating service for seniors is fine. I just don't think we should name it, 'TimesRunningOut.com.''

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

Symbol on dogs restroom is a fire hydrant.

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

"How can you look into those eyes and make her sleep outside?"

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

Three wall angels...