Geriatric Giggles Gifts

"Where's the Viagra?!" "Where's the fire escape?!"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"That's what we look like naked??"

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"I'd let her go, but she's so good with the kids."

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

"Guess what face I'm making now."

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

The Middle-Aged Dog. Wait – Why did I run into this field?

'I think the idea of an online dating service for seniors is fine. I just don't think we should name it, 'TimesRunningOut.com.''

A spoiled boy eating dinner.

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

'You can stop hiding now Artie...We know you went to breakfast without us!'

Jon Snowman

The old geezer was feeling a bit de-flated!

Mouse Rover

"We better be careful, I hear he's suffering from gout."

"For Sale. Used once by a little old lady in tennis shoes."

'He was a devout agnostic.'