Granddad Giggler Gifts

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Batman's Baby

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'Whoops!'

Little boy feeds fish away from fisherman.

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

"Old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue."

Happy Eightieth Birthday

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

"Gran'dad, when you was in the war was it before or after the whole world went mad?"

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

"It was your idea to call him Christopher Robin!"

'Grandad, tell me about when you were a yuppie.'

"Show some respect, stop saying 'Who isn't a pretty boy.'"

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"Oh, Granddad's home movies are pretty boring, but the crazy machine he uses is awesome!"

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

'Why is he always hanging around?'

I bought this at a yard sale for 25 cents. Let's just say it has not been a chick magnet. #1 Granddad. ? ? Bus.

'Granddad was a hippie before he became a baker!'

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'Bless him. Dad loves his old black and white video games.'

Makes me feel young again!