Doggie Giggler Gifts

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

"What are you in for?"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'