Granddad Giggler Pillows

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Can't read 'SLOW'.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Little boy feeds fish away from fisherman.

'Whoops!'

"Old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue."

Happy Eightieth Birthday

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

"Show some respect, stop saying 'Who isn't a pretty boy.'"

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

'Grandad, tell me about when you were a yuppie.'

"Gran'dad, when you was in the war was it before or after the whole world went mad?"

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"Oh, Granddad's home movies are pretty boring, but the crazy machine he uses is awesome!"

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'Granddad was a hippie before he became a baker!'

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'Bless him. Dad loves his old black and white video games.'

Makes me feel young again!

He had proudly displayed it on his mantel for seven years fore he finally read the fine print.