Granddad's Laugh Pillows

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

Cry babies.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Next to Nothing

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Note Book

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

Can't read 'SLOW'.

Child on a schedule.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'

'Those were the days, eh, Grandpa?'

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

Vasectomy Clinic: Convert to Unleaded Here

"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"

"'No bones about it?' What? Oh, right. I get it. Ha."

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

'Blummin' 'eck - a granddad!'

Cocktail Franks

Vulgar-free Beaver

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

Mix up on the maternity ward.

For cryin' out loud, if you say "ain't it a hoot" one more time!

Makes me feel young again!

"He's giggling to himself. Get ready for a dad joke."

Zeus Lightning Bolts

'Child resistant cap'

"I've just invented the lift."