Friend With A Great Dane Gifts

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'Don't worry. I won't leave without you.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'He does lack social skills.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Good, but not Great Danes.

Fetching some fuel.

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

'No need to shout.'

Dog's game

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

Snowball Fight With Santa

A dog at the bar having a drink out of a toilet bowl.

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'His jaw got stuck when he tried to fetch the Sunday paper!'

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

Dog football