Greasy Spoon Lover Gifts

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

All-Day Breakfast

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

What's the insect de jour?

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'