Greasy Spoon Lover T-Shirts

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

All-Day Breakfast

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

What's the insect de jour?

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'