Greasy Spoon Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Would you care for a drink before or after I shove menus in your face?"

Soup of the month.

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

All-Day Breakfast

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

Jeremy Corbyn in the soup

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

'Bring me the turtle soup and make it snappy.'

'It takes all day to eat it.'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'