Greasy Spoon Admirer T-Shirts

"In a perfect world your toast would be done just right. But we don't live in a perfect world, do we?"

Milly's Home-Style Restaurant

Soup of the month.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

All-Day Breakfast

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

'It takes all day to eat it.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

Alphabet Soup: Now in a bold new font.

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

'Can't you read?!'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Note: Remote control goes inside the soup spoon.

"I think the soup may be just a bit too salty."

"Excuse me, waiter? There's a hair in my soup."

Give a fly a bowl of soup and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to use a crock-pot and he'll eat for a lifetime.

Could I get a mosquito in my soup instead of a fly? Sorry. No substitutions.

Chicken Noodle sold out.

"So - we'll go for Bouillabaisse then, shall we?"

"You were supposed to be IN the soup!"

'Add more vegetables. Man does not live by additives alone.'

'How's the soup of the day coming along, Chef?'

'Don't expect anything special

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

"I knew this was your favorite."