Grapplers Of Godly Concepts Gifts

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Clown God

Divine Desk Bins

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Whoops!'

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

Put it in writing!

God's attempt to stay incognito failed.

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Neptune: the retirement years.

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

The First Supper

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

'You're not going to like this - just learned you're being sued for corn seed patent infringement.'

Answer to Prayers - NO

"Who ate all the pieties?"

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

"I'm sick of these bugs"

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'