Grapplers Of Godly Concepts Pillows

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Clown God

Divine Desk Bins

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Whoops!'

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

Put it in writing!

God's attempt to stay incognito failed.

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Neptune: the retirement years.

The First Supper

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

'You're not going to like this - just learned you're being sued for corn seed patent infringement.'

Answer to Prayers - NO

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"I'm sick of these bugs"

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

"Don't make me come down there!"