Grape Crush Aficionado Gifts

'House red please.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Who's the new guy?'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

Wine tasting

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Nouveau wine

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."