Grape Devotee Gifts

'Hold up a sec! I'm feeling really guilty about all the destruction we've caused to vineyards around the world...Okay, I'm over it.'

Collection of Wine

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

A giant glass of red wine

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

Wine tasting

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'