Grape Fans Gifts

'Stay outta the sun, kids...'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

Making healthy eating bearable.

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"