Grape Fanatic Gifts

'You know why he married a vintner's daughter? He thought she was di-vine.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Wine tasting

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."