Grape Stomping Aficionado Gifts

As a cleaning woman mops the floor a man with no shoes on and wine grapes on his feet walks by.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I make it myself!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

A giant glass of red wine

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

Nouveau wine

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

Serving wine - "I make it myself."