Grape Stomping Champion Gifts

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Who's the new guy?'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

Nouveau wine

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Wine Lovers

"My husband makes this wine."

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"