Grape Connoisseur Gifts

'Wine region.'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Bubbly

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

The real reason why flamingos are pink

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

Lady drinking Champagne.

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)