Sour Grapes Connoisseur Gifts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

You are simply the Greatest

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four-dollar range?"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Wine Lovers

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

Paradise: Collection of wine