Sour Grapes Connoisseur T-Shirts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

Wine tasting

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

You are simply the Greatest

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Wine Lovers

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."