Sour Grapes Theorist T-Shirts

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

A giant glass of red wine

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

Wine tasting

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'