Connoisseur Of Grapes Gifts

'I don't claim to know everything about wine - just 97%.'

'A cheeky red?'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Bubbly

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I make it myself!"

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"You're never home."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Leo McKern

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Yes. As a matter of fact he IS an indoor cat.