Connoisseur Of Grapes Gifts

'I don't claim to know everything about wine - just 97%.'

'A cheeky red?'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Bacchus.

Bubbly

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"You're never home."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

A giant glass of red wine

Leo McKern

Yes. As a matter of fact he IS an indoor cat.

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'